As a female I’ve done my share of loveless, self-criticism. I’ve stared at the parts of my body that I’ve deemed undesirable. With the help of a mirror, I’ve sent all of my negative thoughts inward showing no mercy. And guess what? Those parts of my body have always been my problem areas no matter how much fat I lose or muscle I tone up. But then if I fast forward a couple of years from any given self-critical moment, for example when I browse through old pictures on Facebook, I realize, “wow, I looked pretty good back then.” Even though “back then” all I saw were flaws and areas for improvement, just like I do today. So what does this cycle illustrate?
The content of your thoughts (or self-talk) is your reality.
If right now you think your arms are flabby, your mind believes your arms are flabby. And bonus, your mind believes that everyone else thinks your arms are flabby. Likewise, if you think you can’t accomplish a goal, your whole universe will conspire against you to make this belief true. But the universe doesn’t conspire against you. Your mind does. Your thoughts do. You believe the negative assumptions you feed yourself through self-talk. And one day you’ll look back at goals you never went after or failed at and gave up on and think, “I was pretty young and capable back then, I could have done it.”
So what’s the point? Why feed yourself information that will ultimately take you down a road of regret and unaccomplished dreams? It may sound a little dramatic, but it is dramatic! It’s all a bunch of unnecessary drama. Next time your inner dialogue dooms you into thinking, “You just can’t do it because…,” just stop.
Whew! Now, start concentrating on the good. You can actually breed positive energy throughout your whole being with uplifting thoughts. You are attractive. You are capable. You are strong. You have the talent. You have the determination. Think about how good you feel when a friend, family member, or stranger gives you a compliment. Even if you don’t fully believe it to be true (through that ever-present negative self-talk), you still feel good about it. The compliment lifts you up. You believe, at least to a very small degree, that the compliment has some truth to it. The more you get the same compliment, the more your mind begins to accept that it is indeed true.
Well good news, we can do ourselves this service through our own self-talk! It’s called positivity. It’s not inauthenticity. You’re not faking it. You are learning to cultivate positive energy. I use the term “energy” because it’s something that permeates. It enters an object or being and radiates in, throughout, and around it. It’s not just for you, it’s for everyone around you. It’s for your entire universe.
If the universe is conspiring, shift the conspiracy to help you out. Why the heck not?
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The next time that little voice starts to go off inside your head, repeat to yourself a positive mantra. Start with something as simple as “I can.”
Because you can. You can. You can. You can.