You have to develop - and own - your own style.
I was recently discussing leadership styles with a client of mine when she brought up a startup founder who believes in "no high-fives" with his top managers.
He doesn't believe in celebrating progress, you should just do your job, essentially.
She asked my opinion on it.
I do believe there's merit in maintaining the mentality of doing your job and owning that work, however I think there's big importance in praising the effort & work of your team as a teaching opportunity to further reinforce desired outcomes.
The words, "I'm proud of how hard you worked on this challenge, and I hope you see that your effort is what helped create this positive outcome," go a long way in reinforcing a effort and a strong culture.
I would imagine cultures like the New England Patriots are similar in a sense that Bill Belichek probably isn't giving his lineman a high-five for making their block, but I would imagine he acknowledges them doing the work correctly to:
- Reinforce them doing the correct behavior
- Build connection and rapport so he can criticize them (and correct) when they mess up.
But as I told my client, I think the most important thing is this:
You have to lead authentically you. Trying to be someone else lacks vulnerability, authenticity, and truth - and will prevent you from being able to connect with your team, which will prevent you from being able to lead your team to its most potential.
Leadership requires vulnerability. Teams require connection.
As leaders we need to figure out what our specific style is and own it.
That doesn't mean we sit content in how good (or poor) of a leader we think we are now. It means we understand our personality and strengths, leaning into them while continuing to develop and grow into a better leader.
Unless we own our unique style, we'll never be able to fully step into our own and lead to our full potential.
You were uniquely made. Figure out how and build on it so you can build better rapport with those you're influencing.